The Best Way To Describe How I Feel

Oh, Mo, I know. While Russian's craftily put up an impersonator behind him both to block Norstrom and to ward off the flocks who cry, "A Norris for you! A NORRIS FOR YOU!", you have recognized our worst fears. San Jose has nearly inevitably clinched the division. We had an awesome February, followed up by a depressing March. As we can see back there, Turco's smushed flat. And you, my friend, lay face down on the ice, a sad little figure wallowing in despair at our situation, too tired to even unclench the stick from your plastic, molded hands. I know you want the Stanley Cup one more time, but trying to inhale a fake, plastic ice sheet isn't going to help matters any, Mike. Or maybe you can't get up because your head's so heavy, you can't prop yourself up anymore. Either way, it's a sad, sad state of affairs.